March 23rd, 2016

Looking for a sleep podcast to fall asleep fast, reduce anxiety, and quiet an overactive mind? This calming episode of The Insomnia Project is designed for insomnia relief, stress reduction, and gentle nighttime unwinding through slow, soothing conversation.
Marco Timpano welcomes guest Alexandra Cote, the Property Coach, for a relaxed discussion about real estate, home buying, and selling property, offering low-stimulation, easygoing content perfect for bedtime listening. From preparing a home for sale to understanding what buyers and sellers consider, this episode turns practical topics into a calm and approachable conversation.
With soft-spoken storytelling and unhurried pacing, the discussion gently explores the steps involved in navigating the housing market, helping to ease racing thoughts while creating a steady, reassuring atmosphere. This relaxing podcast episode is ideal for sleep, stress relief, or quiet background listening during your day.
Whether you’re searching for a sleep podcast for insomnia, calming background noise while you work, or a gentle way to unwind at the end of the day, The Insomnia Project offers a comforting, reliable escape.

Episode 4: Property Coaching & Gentle Guidance | A Soothing Conversation with Alexandra Cote
Listen to the Insomnia Project to relax and sleep
Marco Timpano: Welcome to the Insomnia Project. Sit back, relax and listen as we have a conversation about the mundane. One thing that we can promise, or we try to promise, is that our conversation will be less than fascinating, relaxing, if you will, so that you can just feel free to, I don't know, drift off. Thank you for joining us. We hope you will listen and sleep. Follow us listenandsleep and feel free to leave a comment or rate us or both. I have the distinct pleasure of having Alexandra Cote to this episode. Welcome, Alexandra.
Alexandra Cote: Hello.
Marco Timpano: And you are a realtor and property coach and a good friend of Niddy's. Yes.
Nidhi is our first property coach
So before we go into any, relationship, how you know Nidhi, let's talk about being a property coach because I find that fascinating. What exactly is that?
Alexandra Cote: property coach, doesn't have too much of a definition beyond what I've given it because as far as I know, I'm the only person that's doing it right now.
Marco Timpano: There you go. So an exclusive here. is this the first podcast you're on?
Alexandra Cote: Ah, it's not actually.
Marco Timpano: Oh, I thought we had an exclusive deal here. But welcome. I'm happy to have you. You're our first property coach. So tell us about, being a property coach. What is that?
Alexandra Cote: Sure. I, my training formally is as a professional life coach. And while I was in graduate school, I had a part time job at a real estate brokerage. And I was always a huge fan of all of the property shows that you see on HGTV and things like that. and it was a roommate actually who suggested, you know, you talk about real estate a lot, maybe you should consider looking into it. And if you're just looking for part time work, why don't you try to work at a real estate brokerage? And I, was really, really fortunate in that the day that I went online to look for part time work, there was a posting, for the brokerage that was run by the host of my favorite show.
Marco Timpano: Oh, really?
Alexandra Cote: On hgtv? Yeah. it's called Property Virgins with Sandra Renomato.
Marco Timpano: Of course. I know that show very well.
Alexandra Cote: Yeah, so it was very exciting for me. I applied for the position. The posting was only up for an hour because they had so many applicants they had to take it down. And so I feel it was sort of destined.
Marco Timpano: Sure.
Alexandra Cote: and so, while I was in graduate school for professional coaching, I was working, first as an administrator and then as sort of office manager.
Marco Timpano: So you were one of the people
Alexandra Cote: that got selected Yeah, I got the position. And after about six months or so of working there, Sandra, my broker, she took me out and she said, I think, I think you need to get into real estate. It's kind of like my real estate superhero telling me that I was destined.
Marco Timpano: So she was like, your real estate?
Alexandra Cote: She was.
Marco Timpano: Oh, great.
Alexandra Cote: Yeah, yeah, in a way. So I, you know, I really enjoy coaching the sort of the tenant of it. there's a bit of a misconception around professional coaching.
Marco Timpano: Okay.
Alexandra Cote: Just because the industry is a little bit newer, it's not, as regulated as some of the other helping professions like counseling or psychotherapy. so you can go online and get a quote unquote life coaching certificate after an eight hour online course. But this was a rigorous sort of two year training program at a brick and mortar institution.
Marco Timpano: Wow.
Alexandra Cote: and so, trust me, true life coaching, or life coaching in the professional sense of the word, there's actually no advice that's given. You don't give any advice as a professional coach. it's all about being there to support your client, to help them uncover what their goals are and to help them explore what's in the way. also what's helping them and help them develop their own plan about how they want to achieve those goals.
Marco Timpano: Would you say it's more Socratic versus, you know, telling someone what you think they should do? You would uncover it by asking questions?
Alexandra Cote: Absolutely. Yeah. Most of coaching is asking questions.
Marco Timpano: Okay.
Alexandra Cote: And listening intently and mirroring back. and so helping people uncover at their own pace and in their own words, what they want to do and what might be in the way of that.
You studied property management for two years and now you're a property coach
Marco Timpano: So, so you studied this for two years in a rigorous course, and now you've, correct me if I'm wrong, have translated into your other passion, which is real estate.
Alexandra Cote: Yeah.
Marco Timpano: And that brought you to become, as far as we know, the first property coach out there.
Alexandra Cote: Yes.
Marco Timpano: So tell me.
Alexandra Cote: Hoping to hold that tight.
Marco Timpano: I love it. we need to get you like a championship belt that says that, that you can wear when you're doing these property coach sessions.
Alexandra Cote: That would be fun.
Marco Timpano: So if I came to you and I was like, I need a property coach, or is it I want to buy a place. Will you coach me through it? How does it work?
Alexandra Cote: so the way that I meld them, coaching in itself is a very structured, practice. It's certainly something that you don't do without consent and you want to create a safe space to do it. So it's not like I just start coaching people out of the blue. it's really about asking permission if I sense that there's something that might be up. Saying, you know, we've looked at 40 houses.
Marco Timpano: Right.
Alexandra Cote: And the attention, the details that you're picking out, you know, maybe aren't as significant as maybe there's an opportunity to uncover something deeper here.
Marco Timpano: Right.
Alexandra Cote: and also when I'm, when I'm starting with new, with new clients, I work a lot with first time home buyers. It's so overwhelming, especially in the city that we're in now. Toronto, it's very, very competitive.
Marco Timpano: And expensive.
Alexandra Cote: And expensive.
Marco Timpano: It's one of the, correct me if I'm wrong, one of the most expensive real estate markets out there in North America. Is that fair to say?
Alexandra Cote: Absolutely. Toronto and Vancouver. Vancouver is still more expensive, expensive than we are, but it's six of one, half a dozen of the others.
Marco Timpano: So you could, you could understand how someone who's not in the market would feel really out of sorts, you know, anxious and whatnot.
Alexandra Cote: Definitely. And just not quite sure what's the best option. You know, should I continue renting and save more of a down payment? You know, do I do, do I want to wait till I can be in the neighborhood I want to be in or is it worth sacrificing being in my number two neighborhood until I can afford my number one? So sitting down before you even go out and just talking through all of that and finding out what they're hoping to accomplish. and I think a lot of people talk at them. You know, they've got family members with opinions, they've got dogs with, with opinions. Everyone's got an opinion about the market and they hear it on the news
Marco Timpano: so much and from other people who've had bad experiences and good experiences. I know when I was going to purchase a home, people were saying things like, make sure you do this, make sure that this person does that. Don't get burnt like me. So it can be very like, you know, definitely.
Alexandra Cote: And it's, it's, for most people it's the largest purchase of share life.
Marco Timpano: Right.
Alexandra Cote: So it's, I don't think it should be something that's taken lightly. I think it's good to honor that and everything that comes along with it. And I sort of say, you know, it's definitely a financial investment and it needs to make sense from a financial point of view for you, but it's just as much of an emotional investment. This is your home. Right. And so I mean for Me, that's where I find the value. and the joy in it is feeling like, you know, bringing two things together that were meant to be and, you know, one of them is the property and the others is the person or the family, and feeling like just everything fits. It's a more holistic experience.
What's a key or a cornerstone that you notice when you're coaching on property
Marco Timpano: What's a key or a cornerstone that you notice when you're coaching with regards to property that you want to uncover by your client, from your client?
Alexandra Cote: I think one, first of all, the, the goal, like, what's driving this, this desire?
Marco Timpano: Okay.
Alexandra Cote: Is it because everyone is telling you to? Is it because it's a dream that you've had? But also one of the most important questions to ask is who else is involved in this decision making process? Because the first answer you might be getting is, oh, it's me, it's me. It's my choice. I'm buying on my own, you know. But then you hear they come back after seeing something, they might really love it. And then you talk to the next day and their opinion has changed. Who else is involved? Who else is contributing to this? And is that a voice that you want to be contributing? If so, can we integrate it into the process so it feels more holistic for you? Or is that a voice that you want to disconnect from, that you don't want to be part of the decision making process?
Marco Timpano: That's fascinating, Alexandra. It sounds to me like in this case it's not about the sale. It's about making sure your client is ultimately truly satisfied with the home they're purchasing versus buying property. Does that make sense?
Alexandra Cote: 100%. I. You know, the. One of the names that we go by is sales representative. And a lot of the training around the real estate industry is really sales heavy.
Marco Timpano: Right.
Alexandra Cote: And when I was starting out, you know, I just, on the recommendation of my broker, went to all of these different training sessions to see just what was out there and, you know, to help get me structured. And I did not jive with any of them.
Marco Timpano: okay.
Alexandra Cote: They were so sales heavy. And for me, I just, I never viewed real estate as sales because I'm not pushing a particular product. Right. It's not like a certain brand. It's about finding the best fit. And a lot of the techniques like door knocking and cold calling, I mean, those work for some people and, and that's the kind of relationship that they want to have with their clients. You know, it's just all types. it wasn't until I found a, book called Sell with Soul and it was kind of like an introvert's guide to being a real estate agent. It wasn't until I read that that I'm like, okay, all right. I don't have to be a salesperson. I can just be myself. I can slowly carve my own approach and build my business in the way that I'm proud. Because I know that I personally wouldn't want anyone knocking on my door. And if someone did, that would dissuade me from doing business with them. So why, why would I try and do that? You know, and just being coaching myself a little bit to be like, I don't have to be like a quote unquote top agent, you know, super hardcore selling. For me, it's all about the relationship.
Marco Timpano: So how does one find you?
Alexandra Cote: They tap their shoes three times.
Marco Timpano: Oh, I love that method, you know, because I think there's a lot of value to have someone who knows the market, knows the industry, but who's also a property coach. In particular, if you're a little bit skittish or worried.
Alexandra Cote: Yeah.
Marco Timpano: You know, you need that person to be like, in your corner in a way that's more than just, I'm going to sell you a place. And it sounds to me like being a property coach, you really want the best for your client, but you also want to make the experience a positive one.
Alexandra Cote: 100%. Yeah. And it's so exciting. I feel such, Without sounding too hokey, I feel really privileged to be along for that journey. It's. It's such a high when. When my clients finally find that home and they close and it's just magic. And, and so I really value that. That's. That's the best part of the job for me.
Marco Timpano: Now our listeners can follow you on Twitter lexandracote. So it's a L, E X, A N, D, R, C O, T, E. None to worry if you didn't get that, because it'll be in our show notes. Did I get that wrong?
Alexandra Cote: Okay, I forgot the A at the end of Alex, so.
Marco Timpano: All right, so I'll. You know what? I'll put it on the show notes. Alexandra Cote, spelled C O T E is how you spell Cote. as well. And I'm gonna try not to mess this one up. They can go to torontopropertycoach.com yes, sir. And that's your website. And, that's one way they can, connect with you.
Alexandra Cote: Yes.
One client wanted a condo downtown that did not have sliding glass doors
Marco Timpano: Has there ever been an unusual sort of requirement by one of your clients that they're like, I need a space where my snakes will be really comfortable or something like that that you're able to reveal.
Alexandra Cote: That's a fun question.
Marco Timpano: Sure.
Alexandra Cote: yeah, I can think of. I can think of one. It was very. I worked with them for a while and, didn't actually end up finding them something because they're. They're relationship sort of fell apart.
Marco Timpano: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Alexandra Cote: That's okay. That happens sometimes. Oh, yes, yes. You'd be surprised. but anyway, that's kind of beside the point. what they were looking for was a condo downtown that did not have sliding glass doors.
Marco Timpano: Oh.
Alexandra Cote: But was modern.
Marco Timpano: Right.
Alexandra Cote: It was almost impossible.
Marco Timpano: Sure.
Alexandra Cote: I didn't realize until I started going on to look for them. Every condo has a sliding glass door, even if it doesn't have a balcony. Usually a Juliet balcony.
Marco Timpano: Sure.
Alexandra Cote: Oh, I forgot. They also wanted a balcony, but without a sliding glass. Needed to be a door that opened
Marco Timpano: like a French door or just a
Alexandra Cote: normal door instead of the sliding plate glass doors.
Marco Timpano: Okay.
Alexandra Cote: They were looking for a door that opened and closed. And I was trying to uncover a little bit what was behind that.
Marco Timpano: Sure.
Alexandra Cote: And it somewhat was a fear of, sleepwalking out onto the balcony.
Marco Timpano: Right.
Alexandra Cote: but there was something else that I didn't quite get to uncover it
Marco Timpano: just because it fell through or whatever.
Alexandra Cote: It fell through.
Marco Timpano: Right.
Alexandra Cote: but they also wanted to be between the fourth and eighth floors only. That was the most specific. And part of it was sort of me coming back and saying, you know, I've looked and what you're asking for doesn't exist in the areas that right now there's nothing available. So is there anything here that may be less important or if we go to an older building.
Marco Timpano: Right.
Alexandra Cote: A lot of the older buildings do have those doors open onto balconies, but they didn't want to consider that. So those that was particular.
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Alexandra Cote: Any of those items.
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You helped Niddy find this place. What a great space it is too
Alexandra Cote: I've had clients that have asked that, places not be haunted.
Marco Timpano: Well, you know, for some people that's very important. I prefer to have a haunted, place that I can, you know, be kept up at night. No, no. I could see how something for some people that. And have. Have your. Has your experience ever been such that it's like this place doesn't feel like. Really?
Alexandra Cote: Oh, yes.
Marco Timpano: Oh, tell me more.
Alexandra Cote: Oh, there are so many creepy properties.
Marco Timpano: Sure.
Alexandra Cote: On the market. And, and sometimes they look totally fine, but something's just wrong.
Marco Timpano: The energy is different.
Alexandra Cote: The energy is different. And it's interesting because I'd say nine times out of ten, my clients pick up on it as well.
Marco Timpano: Really?
Alexandra Cote: Like, I consider myself a bit on the intuitive side. I'm very sensitive to energies and I think my clients pick up on that as well. So they kind of start asking me.
Marco Timpano: Right.
Alexandra Cote: Because they see the way I react in certain homes. But, most of the time they feel it too. And that's one thing that I do bring attention to. Whereas a lot of people maybe wouldn't talk about that because it's a bit taboo.
Marco Timpano: Sure.
Alexandra Cote: But some place, it might, might be perfect on paper, but just feels wrong. Something feels not like home.
Marco Timpano: Is the converse true too? Like, do sometimes enter in a home and think the energy here is fabulous. yeah. And maybe you have a client who wouldn't necessarily. You wouldn't necessarily think on paper that they would gravitate, to that space. And then all of a sudden the energy brings them.
Alexandra Cote: Sometimes I feel like I'm guided sometimes because sometimes I'll just throw properties in to the mix and kind of surprise them and be like, I know this wasn't on your list, but I think you need to see this place. And it works. It works sometimes.
Marco Timpano: A wild card.
Alexandra Cote: Yeah.
Marco Timpano: Throw in a wild card.
Alexandra Cote: I like to, throw in some wild card.
Marco Timpano: You helped Niddy find this place.
Alexandra Cote: I did.
Marco Timpano: What a great space it is too, I think. So what was the clincher with regards to this place and nitty?
Alexandra Cote: Well, I'm being completely honest. It's proximity to me because I live across the street.
Marco Timpano: Oh, there you go. Convenient. A convenient location.
Alexandra Cote: Yeah. And this, this place is interesting. It was a bit of a struggle. It wasn't it wasn't easy. It wasn't an easy decision.
Marco Timpano: How so?
Alexandra Cote: well, I don't know how much you're comfortable.
Marco Timpano: Oh, she's completely comfortable.
Alexandra Cote: She's behind me because client confidentiality is important.
Marco Timpano: Trust me. I'll act as her. Her counsel, and I say just go reveal all the dirt on Niddy and her in her home.
Alexandra Cote: Okay. Well, you've got the edit button, so I'll trust that.
Alexandra: It was a difficult transition for Aniti and me
this is a place, and I, This is my experience. Anyway, that doesn't. When you walk into it, it didn't feel like home. It didn't have that magical. It actually felt very cold and stale. But the kind of energy that was here was the kind of energy that was screaming, like, live in me and I have potential and, you know, I want to work with you. It wasn't a, negative energy. It was stale. But we just. We had a lot of. A lot of hiccups, with the offer process, with the property management that was involved.
Marco Timpano: And so how do you coach someone who is having issues like that? Because I would imagine your client would feel some sort of anxiety having never had that sort of experience. How does the property coach. Alexandra.
Alexandra Cote: Yeah.
Marco Timpano: Work that out?
Alexandra Cote: I think I'm, thinking I'm reflecting back on how I handled it now,
Marco Timpano: or anyone, like, who's in that sort of situation where it's, like, becoming challenging, but you can see the light that could be at the end of the tunnel, but they can't.
Alexandra Cote: Yeah. I think it's. It's about being honest. I think I was, you know, I was very honest with Aniti. I didn't say, oh, this is normal. This happens all the time. Don't worry about it. I was saying because that can feel very abnormal. And this is not something I've experienced before. And, like, I'm on your side. I'm advocating for you. I hear your concerns. And I wrote some strongly worded emails on her behalf. and just not trying to gloss it over, like, it's not a big deal. Cause it was. It's our home. And it was a difficult transition. And, it was almost like the universe was working against us on this one. But we both had the fightness, I think, sure, to make it happen. Yeah. It just felt right, even though it was wrong.
Is it emotional for you to do real estate transactions
Marco Timpano: And what's the reward you get besides a financial reward in your career? But what's the reward you get from connecting a person with a property that you think is perfect for them?
Alexandra Cote: it's a warm and fuzzy reward. Is it? It's so it's so emotional for me.
Marco Timpano: Is it emotional for you? Like, you would think, you would think somebody who does this in the sale, after sale, after sale would kind of be like, yeah, that's my job. That's the way it goes.
Alexandra Cote: Yeah. I'll be honest. It's not like every transaction I've done has been warm and fuzzy and wonderful.
Marco Timpano: Okay.
Alexandra Cote: Some people, they're not looking for a coach. They're just looking for a realtor.
Marco Timpano: Sure.
Alexandra Cote: And they're just concerned about numbers and facts and efficiency. And I'm happy to fill that role as well, because it's just about providing what they need to feel supported. Right. And so if. If not going in, you know, I. I'd say probably only a third or so of my clients do I actually really get into the coaching with.
Marco Timpano: Okay.
Alexandra Cote: however, I'm still very coached, like, just in the way that I am.
Marco Timpano: Sure. Little added bonus. Whether or not you want to, you want to.
Alexandra Cote: It's just about sort of touching base with them and seeing what they need. And, sometimes it's very transactional. and that's okay too, because it's what they wanted and what they need. So as long as I feel like I was able to support them and provide what they needed to get out of the experience, then I feel good.
Marco Timpano: Amazing.
Would you ever consider teaching a property coaching course for other people in your field
Would you ever consider teaching a property coaching course for other people in your, field? Because I would think that would be really something sought after because the market is so competitive with real estate agents. This, I would think, gives you a little bit of an edge or it gives you a little sort of. Look, I'm more than just someone who wants to make a sale. Certainly now that I know that there's a purchase property coach, I would want to have someone who can do both for me.
Alexandra Cote: There might be interest. I, would hope that there is. I think, it's not an industry traditionally that attracts that kind of person, but I meet so many wonderful people out there when I'm working with other realtors, because that's a big part of it, too, is you've got to be able to sometimes come coach the other realtor.
Marco Timpano: Oh, really? So you act like a double coach in this case?
Alexandra Cote: Sometimes. Sometimes it's a sneak attack.
Marco Timpano: Sure.
Alexandra Cote: And, just being able to build that rapport with the other realtor as well, to. To work together to get the deal because it is competitive and so you want to be someone that they want to work with.
Marco Timpano: Sure.
Alexandra Cote: I'd hope that there's a demand for More like that'd be great. If people, people contact me and they say, how do I, I want to bring coaching to my clients. That's awesome. Definitely recommend it. I think real estate agents, they're in the top 10 least trusted professions.
Marco Timpano: Really.
Alexandra Cote: And so it's funny because when I introduced myself I was like, I'm a, I'm a real estate agent. I brace myself for it. But that's changing too. And I think it, you know, sometimes I introduce myself and people are like, oh, I already have a house. Like before they even tell me their name, they're sort of stating like, I don't, I don't want to be sold right now. I don't want a hard sell. And that's totally fine. I was just gonna ask you how that order was. You know, I'm not here to, I'm not salesy.
Marco Timpano: Sure.
Alexandra Cote: I don't think maybe Nivea disagrees.
Marco Timpano: But let me ask you this. So. So if we have a listener who's looking to buy a home and they're looking for a real estate agent, what would you coach them to look for in a real estate agent?
Alexandra Cote: Good question. I really think it's important that they sit down with the realtor, and have a conversation, almost like an interview. because it's important. Like the relationship that you're going to be having is a serious one.
Marco Timpano: Sure.
Alexandra Cote: Involves and you need to feel comfortable. you know, it's good to speak with two or three different people. Ah, ask for referrals.
Marco Timpano: so don't go with the first
Alexandra Cote: person unless you really click with the first person. but I, you know, I always encourage people to meet with me in my office, have a conversation. Let me explain a little bit what I'm about.
Marco Timpano: Sure.
Alexandra Cote: And then, you know, let them follow up the next day and see if they have any questions. I don't ask them to sign anything on the spot.
Marco Timpano: Right.
Alexandra Cote: Sometimes they, they're totally happy to. They just offer it to you. But I think just creating that trust, building that it's a two way street and feeling like, you know, this is someone that fits your style and you feel that you're going to get the support you need. Whether it's not having someone who's coaching and talking about emotions and is just talking about numbers, if that's what you're looking for, I might not be the best person for you.
Marco Timpano: Fair enough.
Alexandra Cote: because hugs are important, I believe. But, ah, you know, just, I would say talk to a few. Talk to a few don't feel pressured to make a decision right away. A, lot of people will try to close the deal. Maybe that's what you want. Maybe that's what you. You want is efficiency in something like that.
Marco Timpano: Sure. But. But do your. Do your sort of due diligence, and go and see a couple of people, because I feel like you've hit something with me anyways, is you'll know if that first person was right for you after seeing the second or third person.
Alexandra Cote: That's true.
Marco Timpano: You know, Alexandra, I wanted. You're a realtor and a property coach. And really, this episode I just talked about your property coaching. So I would like to invite you because I have a bunch of things I want to ask you with regards to you being a realtor and the housing market. So I'd love to have you on another episode if you're cool with that. Well, if our listeners want to get in contact with you, they can find [email protected] or did I get that wrong? I'm just like, you know what, Alexandra, I'll let you tell us how they can find me.
Alexandra Cote: They can find me at torontopropertycoach.com or. Or at, Alexandra, on Twitter or @torontopropertycoach on Instagram.
Marco Timpano: There you go. So we'll. We'll have all those things listed in our show notes so people can sort of look and click from there. If somebody wants to use you as a property coach who isn't based in Toronto, is that m possible too?
Alexandra Cote: I'm only licensed to help buy or sell properties in sort of Toronto and the greater Toronto area. But if they want coaching, I could m. Yeah, totally. I'd be happy to do that. Or I can help connect them with someone maybe in their area. I do sort of networked with people all over the place, so.
Marco Timpano: Fantastic. Alexandra, thank you so much for being a part of this. My pleasure.
Alexandra Cote: Thanks for having me.
Marco Timpano: Episode and as always, we're recording from Toronto. Not as always, I should say, as always, we are produced by drumcast Productions and this episode was recorded in Toronto, Canada, SA.